Throughout the 21 years I’ve existed on this earth, I’ve come across a pretty profound realisation. As dismal and hopeless life may seem at times, it often has a way of taking you through experiences that you never could have imagined.

Sure, hindsight is 20/20, but the number of times I’ve been thrusted onto a different path by fate is getting a bit too large to keep track of. In order for you to understand where I’m coming from, we need to go back to the beginning of my journey.

My early life was nothing short of true, unbridled bliss. I was born in Vancouver, BC, and lived the first few years of my life in an unassuming residence at UBC’s Acadia Park.

I grew up with a stable household, with loving parents and a vibtrant sense of community. My parents were initially busy with schooling, so my grandma was often the one in charge of taking care of me. Nontheless, my humble beginnings couldn’t have been more memorable.

At the tender age of 5, my parents both graduated and ended up landing jobs in Calgary, AB. Consequently, this became where I started schooling and began to form the first semblances of my identity and understanding of the world around me. I embarked on my elementary school journey at Brentwood School.

Being designated as a “Traditional Learning Center” (TLC for short), it is known for its discipline and structured approach to education. Brentwood makes students wear distinctive plaid uniforms and attend highly structured classes. The intention is to endow them with a sense of responsibility early on.

Until that point in life, I had lead a relatively cushioned and idyllic existence. It would also be the first time I would experience adversity and discomfort. I realised early on that I would be the target of bullying fairly often.

One of my most vivid memories from this period would be strolling through a wintery field during recess, only to be jumped by “the popular kid” and suplexed face-first into powdery, frozen snow (ala WWE Wrestlemania). Although I’ve long grown past this experience (the guy who would do this to me goes to UBC and we’ve jokingly made ammends), I can’t help but notice how it acted as a catalyst in shaping my understanding of the cycle of prosperity and hardship.

Throughout my life, I’ve always been hard on myself. I’m not sure what keeps me going. It might be a relentless drive to never fall behind. It might be the fear of failure. Hell, it might even just be FOMO. Regardless of the cause, my inner critic has always been quite prominent, and experiences such as this one may have amplified its voice.

Regardless of mishaps such as this one, life marched on. I grew up. Met new people. Made new experiences. Learned new lessons. Despite setbacks, I had never lost my zeal. I was still the smart kid in class (at least relatively), and I was full of ambition and curiosity.

That was, until COVID hit. I had to sever all my social connections. Both my parents lost their jobs. I held my graduation in an isolated environment with a select few. It felt like my world was crumbling around me fast, and at the same time I was being thrusted into a post-secondary environment at light speed.

Haphazardly, we moved back to Vancouver, and I thought it wise to attend UBC so I can at least be close to them during this time. I went into my freshman year of University not knowing what I wanted to do (besides vaguely remembering that I selected Engineering as my first choice program), and I unknowingly lunged headfirst into the longest rat race of my life.

University was initially a very overwhelming experience for me. Gone were the days of small classes and empathetic instructors. First-year engineering felt like a deranged version of Squid Game, with the twist being that students compete for their specialisations instead of 45.6 billion won.

A particular soft-spot of mine was working on an engineering design team in my first-year. I used to fly FPV’s in Calgary, so I thought it would be cool to join UBC Uncrewed Aircraft Systems as a software member. This was where I kindled a lot of my current interests, and made a lot of connections which lasted throughout my undergrad.

Despite the setbacks, I learned to tango with the engineering workload. I had countless sleepless nights and heart-drops at Canvas notifications, but I made it through. Fortunately, I had gotten high enough grades to gain early admission into both the Mechatronics and Engineering Physics programs. Despite being quite tempted by the flashy marketing of both, I opted for Computer Engineering starting in my second year.

Once I got into my major, I finally thought I could rest and take it easy. I was wrong. The 2022W school year was arguably one of the most challenging years of my life. And I would say I am to blame for a decent chunk of it.

On one hand, I really loved the courses offered, which made it a touch easier to excel in them compared to the random science courses that were thrown at me in first-year. However, the 2xx level courses in CPEN are notorious for being extremely difficult with steep learning curves, placing the second-year of the program into the most difficult out of all engineering specialisations. The core courses had components that would take up to 40 hours each, and this presented a new challenge when it came to time-management.

On top of that, I was also frantically looking for my first co-op job to break into the software industry. UBC APSC co-op truly sets students up for failure, but that is a whole other can of worms. Pair these struggles with some painful friend group breakups that hit me particularly hard during this time, and my mental health took a turn for the worse.

Once again, life had oscillated back to the negative axis. Everything felt hopeless. But I couldn’t give up.

What would future me say to myself if I quit?

is a thought that rang clear in my mind. So I perservered. Made new connections. Gained lifelong experiences. And managed to make it out of second-year with an entry into the software development industry.

Now, I can see you wondering to yourself. What was the point of this long winded tour through this guy’s lived experiences? The point wasn’t to garner sympathy for any particular point in my life, or to make you scared of the road ahead. Rather, There is a very prominent theme that has remained the rule and not the exception throughout my life.

That theme is the inherintly cyclic nature that life takes as it guides you through its peaks and troughs. Just as I was able to experience the comfort of Acadia Park followed by hardships in elementary school, or the achievement of entering my chosen program followed by the struggles of second year, life has done an excellent job of demonstrating that no state - whether positive or negative - is permanent.

However, that doesn’t mean that we should fear for when the low point inevitibly does strike. Each slump has ultimately given way to new opportunities for growth, and each high point has taught me that everything I’d done before had a purpose. This isn’t just about the alternation between good and bad times - it’s about how each cycle leaves you better equipped for the next one, baring lessons and resilience that couldn’t be gained in any other way.

Comparison is a very common trap we fall into during these cycles (especially in the software industry as a whole). When we’re at our lowest, we tend to look at others who seem to be thriving and wonder why the rungs of our ladders look so different.

During my co-op search, I watched peers land positions at prestigious tech companies while I was still sending out applications. In second year, I saw classmates effortlessly balance academics and social life while I struggled to keep my head above water. But I’ve also learned that these comparisons only tell a fraction of the story - everyone is navigating their own cycles, facing their own challenges, and growing at their own pace.

Just as a geometric random variable guarantees an eventual success through enough trials, life has a way of working itself out in the long run. If you and a friend are both flipping coins, you shouldn’t lament as to why your buddy landed heads before you 🙂.

Sure, the path may be uncertain, the number of attempts unknown, but that successful outcome - that positive turning point - is mathematically destined to occur as long as you weather the storm. I’ve seen it happen countless times in my life. Where an unfortunate situation seems to have virtualy no upsides, life has a peculiar way of revealing its hidden lessons months or even years later. In retrospect, it will make it seem like that was the only way things could have unfolded for you to end up where you need to be.

It might be my brain dramatisising events in the moment, but there have been countless instances where it feels like I’ve accomplished something by threading the needle - and it was only possible because of the particular box of chocolates that life had presented me.

Perhpas that’s the real beauty of life’s cyclic nature. It’s not just about enduring the lows and celebrating the highs but understanding how each experience, whether positive or negative, shape the path ahead. For me, each moment has been a crucial step in this ongoing journey. And while I have no way of predicitng where the next cycle will take me, I’ve learned to trust in the process, knowing that every turn - however unexpected - will seem crytal-clear in its intentions years down the line.

Just as the challenges of my past appear as stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks, today’s uncertainties eventually reveal themselves as essential chapters in this unfolding story. And I absolutely cannot wait to turn the next page.